TIPS & TOOLS
Mental Health
Porn can affect our mental health in lots of different ways, so here’s some simple tips that can help…
☐ The amount of porn I watch
☐ I just can’t stop watching
☐ My porn use is a secret
☐ The types of porn I’m watching
☐ The way it makes me feel about my own body and performance
☐ How it affects my relationships or sex life
☐ How I’m imagining people sexually now
☐ I don’t know, but I just feel bad about it
Do they make you feel…
☐ Ashamed?
☐ Scared?
☐ Out of control?
☐ Embarrassed?
☐ Afraid?
☐ Lonely?
☐ When you want to watch less, but can’t – CLICK HERE
☐ When you’re watching/trying out aggressive porn – CLICK HERE
☐ When you don’t feel good about your body – CLICK HERE
☐ When porn’s impacting your relationships or sex life – CLICK HERE
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Body Image
Watching lots of porn can be brutal on body image – seriously, in real life everyone’s ‘down below bits’ are super different. Here’s some tips to help…
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Change topics?
INFO
Porn and mental health
The experts tell us that watching lots of porn can sometimes impact our mental health. This depends on how much porn someone’s watching, what type of porn they watch and how they feel about their own usage.
Some young people say they have a healthy relationship with porn and don’t experience any mental health impacts, and others find porn is really impacting them.
People who feel ashamed about their usage (despite how much or little they use) or have strong cultural or religious backgrounds where there are big taboos around porn, are more likely to experience some mental health effects.
Porn, the brain & ‘addiction’?
Porn can make us feel great when we’re watching it, so it’s normal to want to go back when we want that feeling again. The more we do this, we can teach our brains that porn is a good comfort and it can start an unhealthy pattern of using or needing porn to escape our feelings. It’s pretty common for young porn viewers in NZ to want to cut back on how much they watch, at least sometimes(5). Some young people say they feel ‘addicted’ to porn – this usually means they feel uncomfortable about their porn use or they’ve got a habit they’re struggling with 😔 (check this out) If you’re worried about your own porn use or someone has mentioned porn addiction to you, click HERE.Porn and body image
It’s super normal to compare ourselves to what we see in porn, but it’s not always helpful. Many young people struggle to live up to the body images in porn… like ‘big this’ or ‘small that’. Check out this article on body image and porn.
Porn and body size – the lowdown on what’s real, what’s more normal and what’s not.
If most of the nude bodies you’ve seen are on porn, it’s hard to know what’s in the vaguely normal spectrum of bodies and what’s not, so here goes…
- Penises – “Penises are as unique as the people they hang from. There’s no such thing as a bad shape or size — just bad information on how to use it”. They can be curved, upward/downward, C-shaped or straight, circumcised or not. Check out this funny PG health article on different penis sizes and shapes. FYI flaccid (soft) penis size has little relationship to erect penis size (6).
- Vulvas – (the outside part of vaginas): There are about NINE different labia (vaginal ‘lips’) shapes, and variations within those. Colours, shapes and sizes are ALL different, and they keep changing when aroused. Check out this fun PG health article on what real vulva are actually like.
What’s ‘up’ with porn and penis size?
Some young people worry about the size of their penis and porn doesn’t help – porn actors usually have much bigger penises than the average person. FYI the average range in size goes from 9cm (soft) to 13cm (erect). But remember, bigger doesn’t mean better.
Porn and your peeps
Some young people who watch a lot of porn say they feel isolated from friends or family. This could be because they’re spending more time on devices than with people in real life or because they feel too ashamed to tell anyone about their porn habits.
If this is you and you want someone to talk to, CLICK HERE for Tips on convos with whānau or talk to the pros HERE
CHECK OUT THESE COOL APPS!!
There are lots of apps or IG profiles now to help you manage your mental health, stress or sleep issues. Check out:
Smiling Mind
Headspace
Mentamia
Happy not perfect and ‘Calm’ profile on IG.
Porn & sleep
A lot of people start watching porn at night to help de-stress and get to sleep. It may help at first, but when you end up relying on it to de-stress before bed, it can become a hard habit to kick. Other young people end up staying up later than planned to watch porn.
Either way, random fact… “Using devices before bed can delay your body’s internal clock , suppress the release of sleep-inducing hormones and make it difficult to fall or stay asleep(7).“ Okay wow.
HELP
1737
If you’re feeling anxious, down or overwhelmed, 1737 offers a free confidential call or text line with trained counsellors 24/7.
Text: 1737
www.1737.org.nz
The Lowdown
An awesome website and 24/7 help service for youth who feel stuck. Whether it’s mental health issues, relationships, or school issues, the lowdown offers ideas, info and help.
Freephone: 0800 111 757
thelowdown.co.nz Text: 5626 for confidential chat. Anonymous online chat 24/7.
YOUTHLINE
24/7 free service designed just for youth. You can call or text to talk about big or small stuff.
Anonymous online chat 7-10pm.
Freephone: 0800 376 633
Text: 234
www.youthline.co.nz
Suicide crisis helpline
Free 24/7 suicide crisis helpline with a specialist. If you need urgent help ring 111 and tell them your life is in danger. Freephone: 0508 TAUTOKO www.lifeline.org.nz/services/suicide-crisis-helplineFun fact: Research shows that simply talking to someone about how we feel can actually improve our mental wellbeing. It can get stuff out of our head and help shift how we feel. Wow.