Porn is everywhere – and its super easy to find yourself watching tons more of it than you want to. If porn’s taking up heaps of your headspace and you want to cut down but can’t – you’re in the right place. It’s awesome you’re thinking about things and that you’re keen to change it up 👍 Kia Kaha.
TIPS & TOOLS
Self Help Tabs Tool
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self-help online tools
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INFO
Is it just me?
No 😊 – In a recent NZ study, 42% of young people who regularly watch porn wanted to watch less but found it hard not to(27). A Swedish study with young people showed similar results(28). Habits are super easy to fall into and harder to get out of – check out this video that shows how easily habits can start.
So, if you’re feeling like you want to cut down on porn, but can’t, you’re not alone! Here’s the d-low on why this might be happening…
Porn’s buzz
When we’re watching porn and being turned on, it feels good (duh) so it’s normal to want to go back for more, especially when we feel low.
The more we use porn to destress, it tells our bodies that porn can help us, and we can end up creating a pattern where using porn becomes a regular comfort or way to de-stress. So, it makes sense if you find yourself struggling to stop watching porn 😕 – it can happen without even realising.
What’s Success?
Changing up porn habits is a process. Success is about taking one step at a time – like choosing to go for a run or call a mate when you feel stressed and want to jump into some porn.
It’s about putting one foot in front of the other, taking it day by day, and being brave.
“It’s hard to admit you have a porn problem or to even say that it’s involved in your life… Admitting is the first step, so I think finding a way to be able to talk about it normally or subtly is a goal worth achieving.”
Anon youth, TLP Survey 2020
Porn,your brain and your sex life
It’s not new that sex and watching porn can cause our brains to fire out hormones causing a ‘rush’. For some young people, they want to keep going back for the ‘rush’ – but can then struggle to stop. For others, with time, the rush can take longer and longer to happen, so they start needing more extreme types of porn to get turned on.
This can also impact real life sex, because some young people’s brains are so used to being turned on with porn, it can become harder (lol) to get turned on in real-life sex.
“It’s hard to admit you have a porn problem or to even say that it’s involved in your life… Admitting is the first step, so I think finding a way to be able to talk about it normally or subtly is a goal worth achieving.”
Anon youth, TLP Survey 2020
The flow – what’s happening?
Scientists talk about ‘flow’ – when you’re so into what you’re doing, you lose track of time and nothing else matters… like when you game or surf and just wanna go on forever. This can happen while watching porn – especially when the flow ends in a great rush.
If we’re in the flow our brains are in the perfect zone for learning and developing new habits. This makes it super easy for us to develop patterns around our porn usage or sexual desires and expectations, without even realising it.
Culture, faith and shame
People from cultures or faiths where porn is a no-no can often experience more shame and guilt about their porn use than other young people, regardless of how much porn they watch.
They are also less likely to talk or reach out to people for help because of the shame surrounding porn. If this is you, it’s hard to go it alone – so find someone safe who can support you – like an older sibling, cousin or school counsellor.
VIDEOS
WANT TO WATCH LESS PORN BUT
FIND IT HARD TO CUT DOWN?
WANT TO WATCH LESS PORN BUT FIND IT HARD TO CUT DOWN?
Professional Athlete Lamar Odom and Ran Gavrieli talk porn, their sex lives, and how it didn’t work out for them. Also a lol watching how a chicken nugget (aka us) can get into porn habits.
HELP 
1737
If you’re feeling anxious, down or overwhelmed, 1737 offers a free confidential call or text line with trained counsellors 24/7.
Text: 1737
www.1737.org.nz
Safe to Talk
If you’ve been affected by sexual harm or are worried about your own behaviour, Safe to Talk provide great 24/7 confidential non-judgmental support and advice with trained counsellors.
Anonymous online chat 24/7.
Freephone: 0800 044 334
Text: 4334
Website/online chat: www.safetotalk.nz
Email: [email protected]
YOUTHLINE
24/7 free service designed just for youth. You can call or text to talk about big or small stuff.
Anonymous online chat 7-10pm.
Freephone: 0800 376 633
Text: 234
www.youthline.co.nz
Suicide crisis helpline
Free 24/7 suicide crisis helpline with a specialist. If you need urgent help ring 111 and tell them your life is in danger.
Freephone: 0508 TAUTOKO
What’s up?
Whatsup helps young people with heaps of issues like dating, sex, porn, bullying or anxiety. Confidential online chat: 3 -10pm. Freephone counsellors 12-11pm weekdays and 3-11pm on weekends.
Freephone: 0800WHATSUP
www.whatsup.co.nz
It’s totally okay to struggle – it’s not okay to struggle alone