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Porn made you feel

uncomfortable?

Hey there! If you’ve seen something that’s made you feel uncomfortable with online – you’re not alone!

Porn’s everywhere – and there’s crazy new genres and wild sexual stuff popping up daily 😲. It’s hard to avoid the intense stuff and seeing it can be confusing, weird or just plain gross. It can feel awkward telling someone, so here’s some tips to get started. Kia kaha!

Tips & Tools

Looking for quick tips? Here’s what you need.

“It makes me a bit sad cos I wish I hadn’t had to see that at that age. I would have
understood it better and had a different reaction if I was older.”FEMALE, 15, OFLC research

Porn that makes us feel ‘uncomfortable’

There’s lots of weird and more violent themes out now like “real bro and sis”, “young teen” or “forced’, porn producers say they’re creating more shady or extreme stuff to hook people in, and make more profit 🤔 It’s hard to avoid this stuff and it can be confusing and even disturbing to watch.

So, if you’ve across some stuff you’re uncomfortable with – that’s not unusual!

Porn and the body

Watching some stuff in porn, particularly the more extreme themes can be confusing. Most people’s bodies naturally respond by feeling turned on when they see sexual stuff or naked people.

So even if we are wigged out by more extreme porn, our body can still respond positively – this is super normal, and nothing to feel bad about it.

For others, watching some porn can be upsetting and it can be difficult to forget certain images. If that’s you check out our tips here or our Text/Talk section.

Even if we are wigged out by more extreme porn, our body can still be responding positively when we see naked bodies – this is super normal, and nothing to feel bad about.

Porn and the brain

Research shows when we see naked people, our brains are in hyper-drive and they actually move faster than seeing clothed people.

Our brains can anticipate a ‘high’ – and we can’t usually control that initial feeling!(3) So, even when we feel uncomfortable with things we see in porn, our brain can be giving our body a different (positive) message.

Trafficking

In some countries porn could be made by forcing people into it, particularly illegal and underage porn. If you’ve seen something that looked forced or the person seemed too young to be in porn – remember it’s not your fault that this stuff is online. It might help to talk to someone and you can report it by clicking here.

Porn and trauma

Watching certain porn can sometimes cause trauma. If someone’s felt really uncomfortable about what they’ve seen, they can get flashbacks or feel anxious afterwards. If they’ve had unwanted sexual touch or been abused before, they can also feel triggered.

If that’s you, or someone you know, it’s important to get help or talk to the Pros on 4334 Safe to Talk.

Watching porn can create questions and confusion around what you are getting aroused to. If that’s you, talk to a trusted friend or adult, or the pros here

Tips & tools

<< swipe for next tip or go back 👍🏽 >>

When you’ve felt icky about something online

It’s totally normal to have opposite reactions to porn at the same time ...
It’s legit

First up, pretty much any reaction to porn is normal. You might feel great, grossed out, de-stressed, confused or just have a laugh.

Any reaction is totally okay – and it’s normal to have opposite reactions at the same time too, like feeling uncomfortable and aroused – this is legit and okay.

Listen to your feelings

Feelings can give us a ‘heads up’ on what’s important to us. If you tune into them, they can help you work out what porn you are or aren’t okay with.

So, if you’re feeling uncomfortable with something – it can be your body’s way of telling you what’s up.

He Pātai? (Got questions?)

Watching porn can create questions around gender and sexual attraction – and you might feel confused about what you are getting aroused to.

If that’s you, it can be super helpful talking an older trusted friend or adult, or you can talk to the pros HERE

Push play on processing

‘Ignoring’ our feelings won’t make them go away so there’s some cool mindfulness tools that can help us out. Try this one called A.L.L. It might feel weird at first, but it does work:

Acknowledge: Notice feelings and acknowledge them “I feel uncomfortable ..”

Link: Your ‘feelings’ are your body’s response to something and it helps calm your mind if you link the feeling and the trigger. For e.g. “It makes sense I feel uncomfortable, because I saw something in porn I didn’t like.”

Let go: Next up put your hands on your chest and on your stomach, take a massive breath, then imagine breathing out the feeling. It might sound odd but it can activate your ‘social engagement system’ and calm you down.

Korerotia (Reach out)

Having a korero with a friend or whānau member can be super helpful. If you want someone a bit removed, try another adult you trust like a school counsellor or coach, or if you’re keen to keep it anonymous, text the counsellors at 4334 Safe to Talk and say “I’m struggling with something I’ve seen in porn and I don’t know who to talk to…”.

If talking to an adult feels stressful, but you want to try, check out some tips here.

Bad dreams or can’t sleep?

It sucks when you can’t switch off your mind at night. When we’ve been weirded out by something, we can process it in our sleep – so if you’re having dreams about stuff you’ve seen in porn, try not to freak out.

If your dreams wake you up, try the mindfulness tip (a few clicks back) “Push Play on Processing”. Or distract your mind and focus on something else – get up, grab something to eat or read a book.

Flashbacks?

Sometimes images we see in porn can cause unexpected “flashbacks” afterwards. If this has happened to you, chat to a mate you trust, or go HERE for some advice from the pros.

A quick tool to help in the moment is ‘the body scan’ aka relaxing your body while doing some deep breathing. Easy as. Start at your feet and one by one relax your legs, hands, arms until you get to your head while taking deep breaths.

Triggering?

If you’ve experienced unwanted sexual touch or abuse, some forms of porn can be triggering. You may have flashbacks, panic attacks or feel overwhelmed by porn.

Having a korero with trusted adult/friend is super helpful or if you want to keep it anonymous text the counsellors on 4334 Safe to Talk and say “I’ve been hurt sexually before, I’ve seen some porn and now I’m feeling……. and want to talk to someone.” Kia kaha.

Sexual harm

If you’ve had a sexual experience you didn’t want or were forced into a sexual act – that’s called sexual harm.

It’s important you don’t feel alone with this, so if you need medical support, want to report it, or just need anonymous support – the counsellors at 4334 Safe to Talk are there for you.

Get HELP

Check out our Talk/TEXT section for some more really great, free services with the pros. Some of these services are anonymous and any info you share is confidential and safe.