First up – it’s totally normal to be curious about sex and sexual pleasure. Porn’s a super easy ‘go-to’ to watch, learn, and explore sex – and a quick, one-click, and un-demanding way to get a hit of instant pleasure. We get that.

Where things can get tricky is that porn wasn’t designed to teach us about great sex – and regularly watching it can have some downsides and risks (that aren’t always obvious).

Here’s some fast facts on the risks:

• Porn & dopamine: Porn gives the brain a fast, intense hit of dopamine (our pleasure hormone), but research shows this type of hit can leave you feeling flat afterwards – like what happens with a sugar crash. This can lead to a cycle of needing more and more porn to feel good….and for some people, creating unwanted habits.
• Porn & sex: Porn can give unhealthy ideas about what sex should look and feel like, and generally skips all the important stuff (consent, romance, mutual pleasure, etc). Even though it might feel good ‘in the moment’, studies show watching porn can negatively impact our sex life – including making real-life sex less pleasurable.
• Porn & sexual attitudes & behaviours: Watching lots of porn can start to shape what we think, want, and enjoy around real-life sex – often without us realising. This is particularly risky with aggressive types of porn, as our brains can begin linking pleasure with that type of sex. For e.g. studies show people who regularly watch aggressive porn are more likely to develop harmful ideas and behaviours around aggression. See Is Okay to Watch Aggressive Porn? for the lowdown on this.
• Porn & relationships: Porn can negatively affect some relationships. For example, it can create unrealistic sexual expectations, unwanted pressure, and offer unhealthy ideas on what’s safe, enjoyable, or equal in real-life sexual relationships.
• Porn & ethics: Most porn is made by profit-driven companies that push increasingly more aggressive and extreme content to hook new viewers. For example, sexism, racism, violence against women, and queerphobia are common in a lot of porn. These wouldn’t be okay in real life – which raises important questions about how, by watching porn, we may be supporting harmful and unethical companies.
• Porn & mental health: Porn can impact some people’s mental health, including their body image, self-esteem, mood, and how they feel about themselves sexually. Some find themselves depending on porn to feel good and/or get aroused and developing habits that feel difficult to change.
• Porn & the law: Some porn sites feature ‘objectionable’ content that’s against the law to watch, share, or create. It can be confusing and disturbing seeing this type of content – and it’s not always easy to tell what’s legal or not. For more info on this, check out: Is it Legal to Watch Porn?

Risks aside, at the end of the day – a big part of figuring out whether porn’s okay for you is working out how it fits with your own values, ethics, and wellbeing.

Here’s some questions to get you started:

• How does watching porn fit with who I am or want to be – and the type of sex and relationships I want?
  How do the themes (e.g. violence, racism, sexism, etc) line up with my beliefs, ideals, or any cultural or faith values that are important to me?
• Am I in control of what I’m watching and how often? Would I feel better watching less?
• Could porn be affecting my sex life – my thoughts, expectations, what turns me on, and my relationships?
• Why am I watching it (e.g. stress, arousal, learning) – and could it create any long-term problems? Is it getting in the way of other things that are important to me?
• Does watching porn make me feel good about myself? How does it affect my mental health? Do I have any doubts or uneasy feelings?

If you’re unsure about things, worried about your usage, or keen to change things up – Safe to Talk can help, or check out In The Know for some tips on how to cut down on porn.

If you’re keen to watch porn, but worried about the risks – there are some things you can do that may lower the risks. These include:

• Watch porn less and for shorter periods.
• Steer clear of aggressive content (yep – we know that isn’t easy!).
• Start to question and think critically about the themes in porn. For e.g. Do people like this in real-life sex? Would this be okay in real-life? Is this sexist/racist? (Here’s some more examples).
• Avoid using porn as sex-ed. Get healthy sex info and education from other sources such as BISH – which gives heaps of info on sex, without any of the downsides of porn.
• Look after your mental health – and avoid using porn as a go-to pick-me-up.
• Have convos with people of all ages, genders, and sexual orientations who have healthy views on gender, sex, and relationships.

Here we go:

• Porn sites are R18 – which means they’re restricted to people over 18. However, it’s not technically illegal for someone under 18 to watch what most people would consider ‘mainstream’ porn.
• Some porn sites feature ‘objectionable’ content – and this is illegal to watch, download, and share regardless of whether the people in it are real, AI-generated, animated, or cartoon-style. Objectionable content includes things like sexual activity with children or young people (this is often called child sexual exploitation material), torture, rape or sexual assault, and/or sex with animals (aka “animal porn” or bestiality).
• Animated or cartoon-style porn – may or may not be considered illegal. It depends on what’s shown (e.g. whether the characters look like children) and how it’s shown (e.g. whether it promotes sexual exploitation). Aside from the legal stuff – a lot of animated or cartoon-style porn can be pretty aggressive, so it’s worth getting the lowdown on it here: Is Cartoon Porn Okay?

Bottom line: Mainstream porn is Restricted (18+) and made for adults. But even if you’re over 18, and the content isn’t restricted for you, watching it isn’t totally risk-free. See Is It Okay to Watch Porn? for some of the risks.

Let’s start with defining porn… Porn is any nude images, videos, or other material (including audio) of a person or people that’s made to sexually arouse the viewer. It can be real-life, animated, cartoon-style, or AI-generated.

Back in the day, porn mostly lived in magazines, DVDs, and videos. Then came the internet, and it moved onto typical porn sites.

But now, porn is everywhere – even in places it’s not technically supposed to be. You can find it across social media, AI apps, YouTube, gaming sites, messaging apps, and heaps of other popular platforms.

So basically, yep – porn is still porn, no matter where you find it.

What about nudes – are they porn? Good question! See Are Nudes Porn?

In some cases, sharing porn or sexual content is always illegal. For example, if:

• The person you share it with is under 18 years. It’s illegal to share, give, sell, or show porn (or other sexual content) to anyone under 18, because it’s restricted content and against the law to distribute it to someone who isn’t legally old enough.
• It’s ‘objectionable content’. Some porn sites and other platforms feature objectionable content – which is material that shows, depicts, supports, or promotes the sexual exploitation of children or young people, bestiality, torture and extreme sexual violence, coercion or cruelty. Showing anyone, of any age, objectionable content is illegal.

In other cases, if an adult (18 years) shares porn with another adult, it’s generally legal as long as:

• It’s not objectionable content.
• The adult receiving it agrees to receive it. If they haven’t asked for it or don’t want it, and you keep sending it, there could be legal consequences under the Harmful Digital Communications Act.
• It’s not being used to pressure, harass, intimidate or coerce someone. If it is, there could be legal consequences under the Harmful Digital Communications Act.

There’s a wide range of cartoon-style porn, but the most common type is ‘Hentai’ (often called anime porn). The cartoon images and fantasy plots in Hentai can appeal to younger viewers – but it’s still R18 content, and like other porn, it comes with risks.

Here’s the lowdown:

• Legal risks: Things are a bit murky with Hentai, as some of the characters are depicted as quite young-looking. Any content that promotes the sexual exploitation of children and young people (including cartoon) is considered ‘objectionable’ – so some Hentai may be legally risky to watch.
  There are other forms of anime that explicitly show sexual activity with child characters – these are very likely to be objectionable and are illegal to watch, share, or download. So, to stay safe – it’s best to avoid any sexual content where it looks like they characters are under 18.
• Unhealthy themes: Hentai often includes unhealthy and harmful storylines. Many videos feature very aggressive sex where older, dominant characters coerce or force younger, innocent, and willing-looking characters into sex. These plots can suggest that sex with younger people is normal and enjoyable – and give harmful and confusing messages about forced sex, boundaries, and sex across age and power differences.
• Impact on real-life sex: Even though Hentai is ‘fantasy’, regularly watching and becoming aroused by it can start to shape what we like, prefer, and enjoy in real-life sex. For e.g. research with young people shows that frequent Hentai viewers are more likely to accept violence and/or be sexually aggressive in real life.

But if it’s cartoon – what’s the problem?

Whether porn is real-life, AI-generated, or cartoon, the risks can be similar. If we’re being aroused by it, our bodies still respond in the same way – and the messaging can still shape our sexual ideas and behaviours.

Check-in: Another helpful part of figuring out whether watching Hentai is okay for you is to think about how it fits with your values, beliefs, and wellbeing. Here’s some questions to get you started:

• How do I feel about what’s in Hentai – does it fit with my views on sex and relationships?
• Am I in control of what I’m watching, how often, and how it could be affecting me?
• Does it fit with who I am – or want to be? Do I have any doubts, uneasy, or weird feelings about it?
• Does watching it leave me feeling good about myself, or affect my mental health?

So here’s the lowdown:

• Sexual content of children or young teenagers: Any type of sexual content (real-life, AI, and cartoon) featuring people who look like children or young teenagers is likely to be illegal and considered objectionable content.
• Teen, teen 18+, or young-looking categories in porn: On most mainstream porn sites, these categories usually feature actors over 18 who are made to look young – and this content is generally legal. However, if the actors are made to look or act a lot younger than they are, or the content promotes the exploitation of children or young teenagers, this can be illegal.
• Animated or cartoon ‘teen’ porn: Animated or cartoon-style porn can include depictions of young teens and children, and some of this content could be considered illegal. See Is Cartoon Porn Okay?
• AI-generated ‘teen’ porn: AI-generated porn that shows people who look like they’re children or young teenagers is likely to be illegal.

Bottom line – Any sexual content depicting children or young teens is likely to be illegal. While it’s technically legal to watch ‘teen’ categories in porn if the actors are over 18, there’s also no real way to be sure of their age – so to stay safe, steer clear of any content where people look like they’re under 18.

Legal stuff aside, there are some other things to think about with ‘Teen’ porn…

The ‘teen’ category often includes violent or aggressive content and unhealthy dynamics – where an older, more powerful person (or group) pressures or manipulates someone younger and more vulnerable into sex. Watching this regularly can reinforce harmful sexual messages, influence our ideas around what’s normal or okay, and even shape what we expect, want, or enjoy in real-life sex.

Even though it’s easy to find online – porn with animals in it is considered ‘objectionable content’ (aka banned) under New Zealand law because it promotes or supports bestiality.
That means it’s illegal for anyone to watch, share, or download it.

What if I’ve been watching it?

• Downloading, sharing or watching ‘animal porn’ is against the law, so it’s always legally risky.
• If you’ve accidentally seen or occasionally watched ‘animal porn’, the risk of legal action is probably relatively low.
• But if you’ve shared, downloaded, or stored several bestiality images, there’s a stronger likelihood of legal consequences. This could also be part of a bigger picture around sexual feelings that need immediate support.

Bottom line is watching or sharing ‘animal porn’ is always risky – and should be avoided.

Here’s the lowdown:

Most step-porn or incest-themed porn on mainstream porn sites is legal if the performers are all adults (18+). It’s considered legal to watch because step-porn generally involves performers role-playing.

However, any incest-themed or step-porn content that shows the sexual exploitation or abuse of young people, or sex involving children or young teenagers, is likely to be illegal.

Even if some types of incest or step-porn are technically legal – that doesn’t always mean they’re totally safe or healthy to watch.

The themes in step-porn often mimic and reinforce real-life abusive dynamics within families and can give harmful messages about sex between relatives or across age and power differences. For example, many videos show older or more powerful family members pressuring or manipulating younger, more vulnerable ones into sex. They’re made to look like everyone’s enjoying it – but in real life, this would never be okay.

Watching this type of porn can blur the lines around sex, power, and consent, and desensitise us to real-life sexual abuse in families. Over time, it can also shape some viewers’ fantasies and the kind of sex they expect or want.

So, before diving into step-porn, it can help to do a quick self-check-in – to think about whether it sits right with you, your values, and any impact watching it could have over time.

First up, let’s define what we mean by ‘aggressive’ porn…

This term describes a wide range of acts in porn where there’s some form of aggressive behaviour towards someone that could be harmful in real life (even when there’s consent). It might include milder acts like spanking, through to biting or hitting – or more extreme acts that would be considered illegal in real-life such as forced or non-consensual sex. The term can mean different things to different people.

For some people, occasionally watching this type of porn might not feel like a big deal – but for others, it can become a problem. Either way, watching lots of it comes with some risks and important things to think about.

Side note: If you’re worried there’s something wrong with you by liking aggressive porn – it’s common to get aroused by porn, including aggressive porn, and this doesn’t mean you necessarily want or like aggressive sex in real-life – but it’s good to get the lowdown on it…

Here’s some fast facts:

• Sexual ideas & attitudes – Aggressive porn often includes harmful themes where violence, racism and degrading women and minority groups are portrayed as normal and enjoyable. Research shows this can shape our own ideas around sex – and make viewers more likely to accept violence, develop sexist attitudes, and form unhealthy beliefs (e.g. “people like aggressive sex”).
• Sexual behaviours – Watching aggressive types of porn can also influence what we think is ‘normal’ and how we act sexually in real-life. People who watch it often are more likely to base their expectations of sex on porn and have riskier or more aggressive real-life sex.
  An example of this, is the rise in ‘choking’. Before the internet, choking during sex was uncommon and often occurred as a form of assault. ‘Choking’ comes with serious health risks (e.g. brain injury, stroke and death) and legal risks – but porn has normalised it and now it’s more common in real-life.
• Sexual pleasure – Porn might be ‘fantasy’, but for some people, regularly getting turned on by aggressive sex, can mean the brain starts linking this type of sex with pleasure. Over time, this can shape what someone wants, expects, or enjoys in real life. This can be risky, as aggressive types of sex often don’t line up with what feels good, safe, or people generally enjoy in-life sex.
• Mental health – For some people, watching aggressive types of porn can negatively affect their mental health. The images can be disturbing, triggering, or hard to shake off. Others worry that they’re being turned on by stuff they know isn’t okay – which can lead to feeling anxious, ashamed or confused.
• Some could be illegal. Some porn sites include content that’s illegal to watch, share or create. It’s not always easy to tell what’s legal or not – check out 1.2 for the legal lowdown.
• Ethical issues – The porn industry increasingly pushes aggressive content to hook viewers and boost profit. Much of it would be considered harmful, illegal, or not okay in real-life. This raises important ethical questions about consuming porn and supporting companies that produce it.

Risks aside, figuring out what’s right for you also includes checking in with yourself – and thinking about how it fits with your own ideas and values. Here’s some questions to get you started:

• How do I feel about what I’m watching – does it fit with my views on sex, relationships, or gender – or with any cultural or faith values that are important to me?
• How does watching it with who I am or want to be, and the type of sex and relationships I want?
• Am I in control of what I’m watching, how often, and how it’s affecting me or my relationships?
• Does watching it leave me feeling good about myself? How does it affect my mental health – do I have any doubts or uneasy feelings about it?

Is aggressive porn ‘rough sex’?

The term rough sex is often used to describe types of aggressive acts shown in porn. Sometimes watching it can make people curious about trying it in real-life – but rough sex comes with risks, so getting the facts first is important. Check out Rough Sex? for info on safety, consent, and legal stuff and Own the Awk has great tips on navigating conversations on this with partners.

There isn’t a simple answer to whether nudes are considered porn, or the legalities around them, because a lot of different factors come into play. Let’s unpack it…

First up, there’s some key differences:

• Nudes – are usually personal sexual images someone takes of themselves and are generally created to share privately within relationships.
• Porn – is typically public sexual images or videos made for an audience, usually for profit, and focused on performance.
  So while both involve sexual images, the purpose and context are generally quite different.

The legal aspects of sending nudes depend on someone’s age and a few other key factors. For e.g.

If you are under 18 years …

Sending nudes can be legally risky. That’s because any content that promotes or encourages the sexual exploitation of young people is against the law – which can include nudes. There’s no super clear line around age – but sexual content depicting children or young teens is likely to be illegal and can be risky for older teens. That might sound surprising, as sending nudes can be common – but sexual content of children or young teenagers is often made and used exploitatively – so the law’s there to stop that.

If nudes are sent consensually between two people under 18 – there may be low ‘legal’ risk (depending on age and context), but there’s also other risks to think about. Nudes – The Bare Facts has heaps of information on this, but here’s some quick risks to think about:

• • You lose control of your nude once it’s online – Even if you trust the person you send it to, you can never be sure where it might end up or who could see it.
  • You might regret it later – What feels okay now might feel very different in the future.
  • A nude can be shared without your consent – The person you send it to might agree to never share it – but things can change with time, especially after a breakup.
  • A nude can be used against you – Some people use nudes to pressure, blackmail, or manipulate others.

If you’re over 18 – Sending a nude is legal, as long as:

• • The person you’re sending it to is also over 18 – It’s illegal to share, give, sell, or show sexual images to anyone under 18.
  • They want to receive it – Including knowing what’s going to be in it! If the person hasn’t asked for it, or says no, and you keep sending nudes, it could be considered harassment under the Harmful Digital Communications Act (HDCA). It can also be illegal if the nude is being used to pressure, manipulate or intimidate someone.
  • The image is of an adult – Sending a sexualised image of an adult is okay, but sending one of a child or young teenager is likely to be illegal – even if they created and initially shared it themselves.
  • The person in the image has consented to it being shared – If you send someone else’s nude without their permission, that’s against the law. It’s considered image-based abuse (sometimes called ‘revenge porn’) and is illegal under the Harmful Digital Communications Act HDCA.

Bottom line: There’s lots of factors to consider around sending nudes.

A nude that is sent consensually between adults is legal but creating any sexual content involving a child or young teenager and/or sharing someone’s nude without consent (at any age) is very risky legally.