Even if you’re pretty confident your nudes won’t be shared, once a nude’s sent, it never really disappears.

Even on Snapchat where photos disappear, someone can screenshot or take a shot of it on someone else’s phone.

Is the person wanting your nudes trustworthy? Do they have your back? If you’re in a relationship, are you okay with them having your pics/vids if you break up?

These may seem like no-brainers, but it’s not how you feel when you push send – it’s what happens afterwards.

Bottom line: If you’re not 100% sure that you can trust them, don’t hit send.

If the idea of someone else mysteriously getting your nudes keeps you up at night, abort mission, do not send.

We’ve all heard about pics ending up across school or on a random site – and it’s not a joke. This can occur by thoughtless sharing – or it can be targeted.

Either way, the impacts can be rough.

If someone’s hassling you to send a pic or video, that’s straight up ‘sexual pressure’.

Sending nudes is a sexual activity that should never involve pressure – so if someone’s trying to convince you, that’s a red flag.

If you are sharing a pic or vid that discloses your sexuality or gender before you have come out to others – it might pay to take 5 and have a ponder.

That’s your story to share and it can be rough if someone shares it without your permission.

If someone is trying to pressure you to send nudes, ummm red flag. Lines like ‘‘You’d send one if you really liked me” or “We aren’t having sex, so why can’t we just send some?” are not cool.

Sending nudes is a type of sexual activity that should never, ever be pressured. Even if you’re super into each other.

First up, you’re 100% allowed to say ‘no’. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, sending nudes is not a give-in. So if you’re not into it, make it a clear no: “Sorry but no”, “Nah”, “How about No”, or just plain “No”.

No one should get your nudes without your ‘100% hell yeah’ kinda consent! When there’s any kind of force, pressure, or coercion, note to self: this does not equal consent.

If you don’t even want to reply to a request for nudes, you don’t have to. #seen.

You may feel bad for turning someone down, especially if you really like the person. You don’t have to be savage while saying no (sometimes it helps though 😊).

Try being honest and letting them know how you feel – they might respect you for it in the long run. “Hey, I think you’re really cool, but no, I’m not comfortable with that.”

It can be a bit intimidating saying a straight up no, especially if your super into someone.

So, if humour feels right for you, check out these funny GIFS to help you say you’re not into it: ZIPIT and gifs HERE.

Having a second pair of ears and a shoulder to lean on is super helpful, especially when someone’s pressuring you.

Talk to a trusted mate or adult if you’re needing some support. The counsellors at 1737 are great for support too.

If you say no and someone won’t listen, you can just block them. If they keep pushing or even start threatening or blackmailing you, that’s sexual harassment.

It sounds intense, but you can also report them by ringing the police (111). It’s easy to downplay things, but it can get out of hand pretty quick. It’s important that you put your safety first.

It’s okay for you to feel heaps of different things when you get an unwanted nude – embarrassed, curious, shameful, guilty, disgusted or aroused.

Whatever you feel is okay.

Be straight up. Ask the person to stop sending nudes – send them a text saying ’I think you’re cool (or not), but I’m not a fan of getting {dick/tit/butt} pics from you…”

Getting an unexpected nude can catch you off guard. It’s normal to feel a bit crap, especially if you didn’t ask for it.

Chat with a friend or even a trusted adult about it – they may be more understanding than you think.

If you’re feeling nervous, send a text: “Hey there, I just got a nude from someone that I didn’t ask for – and now I feel really weird about it – can we talk?”

Some people can feel really uncomfortable after getting an unwanted nude – and that makes total sense. These are legit feelings and it’s important to listen to them.

Check out FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE for some simple tips and tricks to process these feelings.

If someone keeps sending you nudes without your consent, this can be harassment under the Harmful Digital Communications Act – so you can take more action.

• Block the profile/account and phone number of the person who sent it
• Chat with the Netsafe crew and report the profile/account of the person
• Keep a record of the pics. While deleting them feels good, it’s useful to screenshot the pics to show the police or Netsafe.

Note to self: don’t on-share the nude with anyone else without their consent (you probably wouldn’t, but just playing it safe!)

Regret can get intense. It’s super easy to spin out and jump to the worst-case scenario “Nooooooo…will I end up on Pornhub?” Don’t spiral – in most cases, this doesn’t happen.

So try and stay calm – there’s stuff you can do, and there are people who can help.  Keep reading these tips for help…

If you’re feeling bad or regret it – don’t beat yourself up, when you send a nude you’re not usually thinking about further down the track.

Or even about the next day.

Hit up the person who you sent it to and ask them to delete it. If you can, watch them do it – and the sooner the better.

Or start with a text “I super regret sending that. Please delete it now and don’t share it.”

It sucks trying to deal with things alone. If you’re feeling low, reach out to some mates who care about you, or a whānau member or teacher you trust.

If you’re nervous, start with a text “Hey, can I talk to you about something? I sent a pic to someone and really regret it. I’m kind of freaking out.”

Netsafe are pros when it comes to all things online.

They give free and confidential advice and options about what to do, including how to possibly get any images removed.

Simply put, it’s illegal for nudes to be passed around without your consent.

That’s stated in The Harmful Digital Communications Act – so if your pic is shared without your consent, the law’s got your back.

It’s so normal to feel yuck and like your world is caving in if you’ve had a nude shared without consent. You might also feel betrayed – especially if the nude was first sent to someone you trusted.

So, take a breath and be kind to yourself – feeling scared or out of control is normal.  But there’s help!

If possible, un-tag yourself from the photo.

If the person you sent the nude to is using it against you as a form of control or blackmail, or as a threat if you decide to leave a relationship, that’s not okay! It can leave you feeling worried, anxious or depressed.

Talk to a trusted friend or call the Pros at Netsafe for support and to talk though options.

There may be additional fear or worry if the person threatening you is also saying they are going to out you.

Call or webchat with the team at Rainbow YOUTH or OUTline for awesome LGBTIQ+ friendly support.

If you feel unsafe because someone is blackmailing, manipulating or threatening to share your nudes, that’s serious.

Contact Netsafe or the Police (111) for further help. Or if you want to anonymously report it to the police click here. 

This stuff can be niggly to navigate alone. Chat to someone you trust like a mate, whānau member or someone more removed, like a coach.

If you think they may freak out, start with a text: “Hey, I really need to chat, but I don’t want to be judged. I sent a nude to someone and now it’s been shared. I’m really freaking out.”

HERE are some more ideas about how to have this convo

Netsafe are pros when it comes to all things online. They give free and confidential advice and options about what to do, including how to possibly get any images removed.

Reporting the profile/account of the person who’s shared your content is important so that Facebook, Instagram, YouTube or Twitter etc can remove it.

To find out how to do that, click here… Facebook; YouTube; Twitter; Instagram

Immediately deleting your pics seems like the quickest solution, but it can help to have a record of them.

Screenshot the pic/vid and make a record of the URL. Instructions on how to do this are here Netsafe.

It’s illegal to share nude imagery of someone without their permission.

If a nude has been shared without your consent, the law is on your side. The person can be fined up to $50,000 or face a prison sentence of two years for breaking laws covered in the Harmful digital Communications Act. Ouch.