Hey there! Every week wild new online social platforms, apps and sites are being rolled out…
These can be a great place to meet new people – but can also attract some dodgy folk 😏. There’s no handbook for figuring out what’s safe and what’s not, so here’s some info on how to keep safe – but still have a good time…
TIPS & TOOLS
Here’s our top tips for starting the convo…
“Hi there, I posted stuff online that hasn’t ended well – I want to tell you about it, but I’m embarrassed. If I tell you, can you please not judge?.” Then when they reply, fill them in e.g. “I made some sexual pics and posted them to try and make some money. I thought it was all safe, but they’ve been leaked and I need help.”
- Chat through the Things to Consider before they sign up for anything.
- Talk about ‘the why’ behind their decision, to make sure it’s the right call for them or they’re not being pressured.
- Go through the checklist together to make sure they understand the risks.
- Offer to help them check out the site/buyer and review the contract.
- Be a listening ear and support your friend as they weigh up the decision.
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INFO
The deets on online relationships
Meeting people online can be fun. But bottom line is you’ve gotta be careful. You’ve probably heard it all before, but here’s why:
- Online relationships can be more intense – because you might share more personal stuff than in real life.
- You can feel more confident online – and end up doing stuff you regret later .
- If you don’t know the person in real life – they can come across different online to who/how they actually are.
- Things can move fast online – one day you’re texting and the next minute you’re being pressured for nudes.
- The person can use your info – and make profiles of you or share what you’ve said to them. That’s not cool.
- You can’t read the person’s body language or body cues – so they might sound amazing, but actually be really creepy.
- There are some sketchy people online – who create false profiles and do shady stuff.
How do I know if a chatting/dating site is legit?
Here’s a few tips:
Sites that begin with “https” instead of “http” means the site probably has a certificate and is more secure. An icon somewhere with the words “Secure” or “Verified ” is good – it shows the website is working with a security service. Sites that come from ‘pop ups’ can be malware – clicking on it can create problems on your device. Malware viruses often come through ads on sites, so even if it’s a safe-ish site, don’t click on the ads.
Random Fact: In 2015, a major hook-up dating site got ALL its data leaked – names, GPS locations, phone numbers, occupations, sexual preferences…EVERYTHING to the public.
- Gut check – does this feel allgood?
- Friends – do other people know about it?
- Research – do the facts line up?
- Pressure – are they asking for pics I don’t want to send?
- Secrecy – is it all on the d-low?
“We want help with how to get out of the cycle of speaking to people online for sex chats, whether a relationship online is appropriate and what hook-up apps are okay.” Anon youth, TLP youth survey
The deets on camming:
Some people have started using camming sites like ‘onlyfans’ as a way to make money, a little side hustle that’s kind of like an online peep show.
If you want the legal downlow – the law states you can only cam if you’re 18 or older, as it’s considered ‘child sex abuse material’. If that doesn’t matter to you, and you’re still figuring out if it’s a good idea or not, here’s some tips to help:
- Heaps of employers Google check people and might be unsure about hiring someone whose done some camming. You might think that’s not cool, but it’s important to think about that risk before pushing go.
- The longer you cam for, the more likely your pics will be leaked into the whole big internet thing, click here NUDES to decide if you’re cool with that.
- Some OnlyFans creators have experienced doxxing — where someone leaked their name and location online alongside their photos….woah freaky.
HELP
1737
If you’re feeling anxious, down or overwhelmed, 1737 offers a free confidential call or text line with trained counsellors 24/7.
Text: 1737
www.1737.org.nz
NETSAFE
Netsafe is a free confidential 24/7 online safety helpline that offers support, legal info and advice on online issues.
Freephone:
0508 NETSAFE
Text: 4284
8am-8pm weekdays
9am-5pm weekends.
Online report: Reporting Harmful Content
Website: netsafe.org.nz
YOUTHLINE
24/7 free service designed just for youth. You can call or text to talk about big or small stuff.
Anonymous online chat 7-10pm.
Freephone: 0800 376 633
Text: 234
www.youthline.co.nz
Police
If you are in an unsafe situation call 111. If it’s not an emergency, call your local police station, or report what’s going on here: police.govt.nz
If you want to keep anonymous click HERE.
Safe to Talk
If you’ve been affected by sexual harm or are worried about your own behaviour, Safe to Talk provide great 24/7 confidential non-judgmental support and advice with trained counsellors.
Anonymous online chat 24/7.
Freephone: 0800 044 334
Text: 4334
Website/online chat: www.safetotalk.nz
Email: [email protected]